The Invisible Man Becomes Seen

it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture of college, or of education in general. most of the time i find myself focusing on the next class, or the next paper with little regard to what the long term effect could and should be. instead of writing in this blog to fulfill an assignment, i am learning about media so that i can be a more critical consumer for myself and for my kids. adult development will not only count towards my graduation, but benefit my family as my parents age and deal with retirement, disease, and eventual loss.

a similar moment comes when tuition is due, and i either have to work long hours at a job during school, or find a scholarship to help cover the necessary amount. little thought, at least on my part, goes into who is behind the scholarship. the main idea is that they are great and they will help me pay for this semester of schooling so that i can learn about old people, media, marriage prep, etc. but have i ever stopped to notice the invisible man or woman that is pushing me forward in my education? do i recognize the love and hope that they are putting into my life, despite never having known the person?

today, one of my invisible men became visible, tangible... real. i had the opportunity to meet Ira Fulton, a very successful business man and philanthropist. when i say successful, this man has gone from rags to riches, and has donated millions upon millions of dollars to BYU, UVU, ASU, and UofU. while waiting in one of the upper floors of the Spencer W Kimball Tower, i looked out at the students walking to their classes and thought about how many thousands of students had benefitted from this man and his wife's generosity. the Fultons don't even know a small percentage of these students, despite coming to each of the universities frequently to meet as many as they could. they are kind, and put a lot of confidence in the future generations. they provide people with the opportunity to learn in order to change their own lives.

Mary Lou and Ira Fulton

there are few greater ways to express love towards a stranger than helping them fulfill their dreams and gaining their education. extreme amounts of faith and hope go into giving your hard earned money to a scholarship program, praying that some student will use the money wisely and that they will be better for it, instead of squandering the money on something frivilous.

i realized, when i was asked to be one of the representatives of the school of family life to meet with Ira Fulton, that i hadn't given most of my financial aid benefactors a second thought, and yet they and put a lot of thought into me. they, through the medium of a scholarship, have invested in me, as a human being that will go on to do many great things in life. at the very least, being a good husband and father, but with the hopes that i will do more with my job, with my funds, with my opportunities.  the hope that i will change the world, one person at a time, as they have.

whether it is your parents, grandparents, neighbors, or invisible men and women, recognize their sacrifice for you, and their love and confidence in you.

there will always be someone there, pushing you along on your path to greatness. He may not be the one literally pushing, but He guides others to do so. He has invested Himself and His son, along with all of the resources possible for you to become as He is.

See the invisible men and women, See your God.

A Letter to J.J.

Dear J. J. Abrams,

I have been very impressed with the quality of films and series that you have written, directed, and produced over the past twelve years. I became an avid watcher of Alias when it first came out and loved the action and the story development that was included in the show. I feel that Alias was unique in many areas, but the most important being that the protagonist was a woman. She was highly intelligent, took power into her own hands, and led groups to complete missions etc. I feel like she was a great role model for women and that on very few occasions was she objectified as most women are on television and in the movies. 

I particularly was disappointed in the episode that followed the super bowl of 2004 where Sydney Bristow (played by Jennifer Garner) was highly objectified and sexualized for, what I felt, attracting new viewers from the super bowl. This unfortunately is a huge problem with most media today, of which I am sure you are aware. Women are seen as a means to an end in most media, for example the latest Bond movie, Skyfall. The “Bond girl” as they are frequently called, is shot with no remorse and no mention of her after her death. Her role was to get Bond to the antagonist and then she was killed. If women are the lead role, the usually have many men backing them up. As seen in most of the Alias episodes, Sydney’s dad, handler, friend, co-worker, and boss are all male characters that give her advice and direction. Very few women are positive role models to Sydney in the show. Another perpetuation in one of your films was in the first installment of Star Trek that you directed and produced. Zoe Saldana did not seem to think for herself and although she was intelligent, it took Pine’s character or Quinto’s character to piece all the necessary parts together to make the difference in the film.

As I stated above, the majority of your work has done well to either overcome the problem, or at the very least, not perpetuate the problem. Alias, Lost, and Mission Impossible III have all aided the image of women and helped viewers see women as intelligent and successful people instead of sexy, helpless, side characters. 

My hope is that you continue to make quality films and series with women playing more important roles and potentially the main characters as Jennifer Garner did in Alias, to help women aspire to be more than the beautiful, helpless sidekick. You have great influence as a director, writer, and producer. Thank you for your talent in this field and I anxiously wait for your future work.

The Passion in His Voice

I feel that it takes a certain type of man or woman to really motivate a person or a group to do something, an orator of sorts. Someone who can change lives, nations, or even the world. Jeffrey R. Holland is that type of person. When he speaks, I feel that he captures every person within the sound of his voice and they HAVE to listen to him. This becomes even more of a spectacle when you put him in the conference center where 22,000 people sit and listen, not to mention the other million people gathered in church houses and homes listening over radio, internet, and cable.

This man has power and he uses it to help people do something better with their lives. I have had the privilege to meet this man in person on several occasions and each time, I am amazed by the aura around him and the intelligence that is apparent in everything he says.

This weekend was the 183rd annual general conference, where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gathers the Prophets and Apostles and other general authorities into one building and they teach the world simple truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Many are soft spoken and have great messages, but some lack the confidence to really grab the viewers attention. This is never the case with Jeffrey R Holland.

I have decided that I am going to search out as many of his talks, sermons, books, etc. as I can. He is fascinating and a bit of a role model. Future posts will update y'all on what I learn. Here is the latest conference talk of Jeffrey R Holland.

Melancholic Morning

we all have it, those mornings, or moments that we just don't want to do anything. sometimes there is a specific task with a time crunch (which happened to me yesterday morning) or a long day that you find yourself going through the motions but needing something...an explosion, a surprise, or just SOMETHING out of the ordinary to break the duldrums. 

i find that these days or moments happen in one of two situations. like i stated above, it happens when there is something that you are avoiding, whether it is a long paper that you could do if your were motivated, but you aren't OR when i wake up with no purpose in the morning. i don't have a pressing task to get to, a class, or even planned a run. if i don't have something planned, then there is no particular reason to get up, or to "get to" the tasks. 

in my desperation yesterday where did i turn? facebook of course...(i am ashamed to say). a status was created, more so to entertain myself than to actually get help. that is when a friend sent me some Advice from Elder Busche. 

after watching this, it made me take a step back from my "1st world problems" and look more on the bigger picture. below are a few quotes that hit me particularly hard. 

"Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks." - which should be helpful when it snows after having a week of 60+ degree weather...still trying to apply this one. 

"Steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them towards God."

"Challenges can either bring you closer to God and make you stronger or they can destroy you. You decide what road you take."

"Put all frustrations, hurt feelings and grumblings into the perspective of your Eternal Hope. Light will fill into your soul."

"Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin."

"When you cannot love someone, look into that person's eyes long enough to find the rudiments of the child of God within him."

"Be not so much concerened about what you do, but what you do, do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction." - this gave me a good push in my paper...at least enough to where i was able to finish it. 

so, to get rid of all the melancholic mornings, I will now attempt to "Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks," despite the snow, the long day of classes or work, the fun day with family, or whatever comes. 

This also helps :)

The Book Thief

"I have hated the words

and I have loved them,

and I hope I have made them right."

I just finished the Book Thief and would highly recommend it to most people. Markus Zusak created a story that was very moving and gave a different perspective of WWII. So often we hear from the perspective of Jews that were killed, or in concentration camps, we hear from Americans or people on the Allies' side. This was from the viewpoint of a little girl who was German and was placed in a town among Germans who were real people and struggled like most people during the war. I feel we often forget that most Germans traveled through Hell as well as the countries that Hitler took over. 

Markus Zusak did a fantastic job putting Death as the narrator of the story and Zusak dives into how the power of words can change the life of an individual, a group, as well as nations. Words, or arguably any medium, can carry a message, pure and simple, to the hearts of people. Hate. Love. Authority. Despair. Leadership. Friendship. Sacrifice. Hope. 

Liesel becomes the Word Shaker and stands up to Hitler despite him not knowing that she even exists. She learns to do what it takes to learn the right lessons and in the process she steals books. 

Very rarely do I get so involved in a book that I feel the extreme emotions that are frequently portrayed. This book, on several occasions, had me cheering and reverently pondering the various settings and themes by the persuasive and inviting writing style provided by Zusak and Death.

I will remember the Word Shaker that Liesel became and a little boy named Rudy who had black soot all over him in order to mimic the fastest runner in the world and Rudy's idol, Jesse Owens. 

"I'm always finding humans at their Best & Worst. I see their Ugly and their Beauty and I wonder how the same can be both.

Superheroes took over my tv

what is every boy's dream? to see their favorite superhero on the big screen of course! i remember being a kid and just WISHING for x-men to be a movie instead of just a cartoon. how cool would it be to have real life people with mutant genes that gave them cool powers? or a more realistic superman without the blue screen, or batman who really was  the "dark knight!"

well, not only have all of these characters and more been made into movies, but argueably, over the next few years, all will have become movies and they will probably have remakes of each of them within the next 10 years. 

for a project of mine, i looked up the superheroe movies that have been made ever, live and animated. i found that since 2000, the united states has produced 66 live action and 41 animated superhero movies. from 1951 to 2000, 51 live action movies and 2 animated superhero movies were released. that's crazy! about 1 a year from 1951-2000 and then about 5 a year after that. why the huge push to create superhero movies? because they sell...because it is not only every boy's dream, but every man's dream as well, to see his heroes on the big screen. what a glorious time to be alive. 

check out the list here.

Everyone needs a hippie friend

how many announcements have you gotten in the past month for friends getting married? past six months? how about the past year? in my mind there are three types of announcements.

first, the one-in-all. this is the choice for those that like to be simple, catchy, and fun. there is one piece of photo paper inside that is double sided, a picture collage, with writing displayed throughout with striking phrases, the place where they are getting married along with the date. it also tells you where they are registered, and in some unqiue spot, if you are lucky enough, you are invited to the ceremony on it.

second, the traditional. a single classy photo of the couple sitting in either a nature place or a modern street with something unique is given on a single 5 by 7 photopaper. behind the photo is the cardstock with the classic "bob and debra schnickers are proud to announce the marriage of their daughter brenda..." the writing is all snazzy and cursive (sometimes unreadable...handy when you don't fancy the couple getting married...oops).

finally, the unique. this can go one of two ways. either the parents agreed to spend way too much on it to where it is old school, Count-of-Monte-Cristo-invitation-to-a-ball type announcement with a ribbon and wax sealed envelope or a very distinct idea that sets it apart from everyone else.

in writing this, i mean no offense to any choice made by a couple. to each their own and you only get married once (hmmm some form of YOLO...YOGMO? does that work? and this is best case scenario). but this brings me to one of my friends from my mission. she has always been...unique. my friend...is a hippie...granola...tree hugger. one of the coolest people i know. a common friend said about her "she's one of the only people that has a passion, went to school for it, and is fulfilling her dream in making a differene."

one of the ways that she did this, tried to save the world, was through her announcement. it was quite ordinary on the outside, brown recycled paper withe the "classic" writing on it, but within the paper...that was something completely different entirely. on the back of the paper, it says "plant me, and i'll grow." this paper was not only recycled material, it had SEEDS in it! how cool is that? way to make a statement, that you love the earth, you want green to usurp the other colors, and for plants to thrive. i accept your challenge. i will plant your announcement and let it grow like your love for your new husband (how's that last part? cheesy enough?)

but really, its cool that she is as passionate as she is about it and made it a HUGE part of her wedding...not to mention pinecones for corsages and boutinires (spelling?), dream catchers hanging all over the reception hall, some form of special stone that's not a diamond, beared hipsters and hippies all over the place, a jazz band playing in the background, and to top it all off, "flowers in her hair...flowers everywhere." way to go kimmy!

The wheels on the bus...

if you watch tv, whether it is on hulu, the tube, flatscreen, or even a movie, this car commercial has been on, i'm sure. it begins with a man's voice explaining that babies of all kinds (humans, monkeys, dogs, etc) come from a baby planet, they fly in spaceships and are parachuted into the homes. it's a funny take, but proves a point. it gets even more rough when the dad finishes, and the 6 or 7 year-old-kid says something along the lines of, "but billy down the street said that babies come when a mommy and a daddy love each other very...." and the dad quickly tells the car to play wheels on the bus (to sell the cool features of the car...). the song plays, the parents look at each other with the expression of "fewf, that was a close one...dodged that bullet." and the care goes off into the sunset with no explanation of sex, love, or about the creation of families.

okay, i know what you're thinking...it's a freakin' car commercial. of course they aren't going to dive into a topic like that. but as i stated earlier, it proves a point. we, as a culture in the united states, do not talk about sex.

why is it that parents and families don't feel comfortable talking about sex? why has society made it such a hush hush subject? understandably, it is a sacred thing, but that does not mean that it is not talked about. would parents rather have their children learn about it from their friends who know what they do from older mislead kids? or worse, from kids looking at pornography or have a real disturbed idea of sex, procreation, and bodies? children are constantly curious about their bodies, and then questions like "where do babies come from?" come along, and then they are teenagers and they really should feel comfortable talking about personal matters with their parents (that is what parents want right? to have a close enough relationship with their children that the children can come to them with any concerns whether it be school, church, and especially something as sacred as their body and sex).

many would believe that this is just a problem in the LDS culture, but they are unfortunately wrong. I have talked several of my friends that are Christians and Jews and their parents rarely, if ever, talked to them. how do we fix this idea that sex is bad, that it shouldn't be talked about ever, and that it's too embarrassing to discuss with family? how do we educate but not too much that it does more damage than harm?

Forbidden Friendship

There are those things in life that take you by surprise. It can be a new friend, a new favorite food, recognizing a quality characteristic in a sibling, seeing that you cut yourself accidently at some point in the day, or that you really do know how to swim without receiving the proper training (don't try that at home, or in a public pool).

I think there are often times that there are things that people tell us not to do, or that it is not allowed. given, most of the time the advice given (or more often rule) is there for a reason and should be followed for your safety as well as others'. but i would say that there are times in life where you have to go against other people's better judgment or prejudice or bias as well as your own and go off on a limb. the unknown is scary and so often the unknown has rules behind it. because of Forbidden Friendship, I am more willing to push through the barrier.

my favorite dreamworks film is How to Train Your Dragon. i would think it to be a very relateable film because everyone has felt at one time or another that they were left out or picked on or bullied. i also think that everyone has had a moment in their lives where they have been told that something is bad and to stay away from it, like chocolate, or disney films, or a particular friend. there are many elements to this movie that i love.

first, i love the idea that hiccup finds an amazing friend in someone who he was taught to fear and rightly so, these creatures were stealing their animals and burning their village. but i would ask, how often is it so simple as "i feel like stealing something today" or more applicable "i feel like being mean to this person," "i am going to say something i regret," or "i will deliberately not do something for this person?" It is difficult to put ourselves outside of our own situation of justified fear, frustration, and anger to be in the head of the perpetrator. At the core, we are all tied up and trying to get out of the bind. and in the midst of angst, fear, doubt, and the pressures of conforming (discussed below), hiccup raises above it all. that's were he makes a friend, and what a formidable friendship they make. the begins with a scare or intense moment, with some circling and pondering of what to do next, with creeping forward of an idea, one that his whole mind is telling him is wrong, but his instincts tell him that it is right. this creature is more than a killer, more than a perpetrator. there is a build-up waiting to be released, almost an anxious feeling, what will he do when others find out his secret...what is his secret? does he even know? then a calming and finally the energy is let loose.

this track inspires me to want to do more and not necessarily in any particular way, but at the same time in every way. i want to burst the build up and release all the energy and accomplish the goals in mind. in doing so, i am sure there is a friend to be made, that i wouldn't otherwise make.

second theme that i love from the movie, the idea that everyone in the viking village has conformed to this idea of slaying dragons. hiccup is different, but he's not the only one that is different, but he is the one that decides to embrace his difference once he finds his nitch. but it takes him a long time to accept his oddity, that he didn't want to kill dragons. why do we wait so long to embrace our differences? instead we spend so much time and energy trying to have the talents and strengths that others have. hiccup embraces his intellectual knowledge and his feelings of not being aggressive. by accepting himself, others around him are able to be themselves and show their talents outside of the slaying dragons.

so i ask you, what talent are you hiding because you want someone else's talent? and who around you is hurting and needs you to put yourself in their shoes? could the potentially be your next best friend?

Did you see it?

did you see the sun today?did you feel the warmth on your face? that may sound like a silly question, but honestly, did you see the sunlight on the ground, or did you stare into the sun (did anyone get "6 at the sun-stare)?

we have been anxiously awaiting the sun's arrival and the appearance of spring and yet have we seen it? i walked out my door to go to school and listened to a book on my ipod and had a few moments where i was able to really appreciate my surroundings as well as my book. i noticed the people and even made a conscious decision to smile at people. i feel that a lot of times, it has to be a conscious decision to see real life.

even in class, there is the constant pressure or thought of "let me check facebook/gmail to see if there is something important there" despite you knowing that there was nothing there a twenty minutes ago. how often do we deliberately switch off the wifi so that it is not even a temptation? that way the voice doesn't have any effect on you.

when walking outside, how often do we put the phone back in the pocket to text/call someone later because you are too busy taking in the gorgeous day outside? that is my challenge for myself is to make more deliberate decisions to set aside media and appreciate real life.

Status Update

Please view the following comic strip entitled Social Media IRL.

After I stopped laughing, the truthfulness of the comic came to mind. Our culture really does feel that they need to post comments and updates on everything that they are doing. Other people then, in their spare moments of the day, check those social media sites to see what their friends are doing. Upon seeing the cool, funny, sad, dumb things that their friends are doing, they feel that they also need to post those things.

I'll admit I do like to see the cool things that my friends are doing, especially those who go on a particularly cool date, or see something crazy, or funny. I am glad that they post it so that I can experience it with them. I post a few things myself that others probably think, "Oh great, another post about running. Who cares?"

Is that not the point of social media? So you can express your thoughts, feelings, desires and connect with those who also have the same ideas? Of course not everyone is going to cherish that delicious cheeseburger that you ate, but the friends who ate their with you will remember the great time you had, or that you hadn't had a Five Guys burger in AGES!

I encourage you to think about the posts that you are putting on Facebook, Twitter, etc., and to be a little less judgemental of others who post, because your posts might be as odd to others as thiers are to you. If you are now thinking to yourself, "But I don't 'post' anything." Then my question to you is, why do you even have the social media then? If you are thinking "So I can keep up with friends," then you have missed the point of this blog.

How do you help them understand?

its not very hard for people to see that i look forward to being a father. its in the research that i do, for whatever class i am in. one of my jobs is to assist in a study that examines how parenting is done in the eastern part of the world. put me in a room with one of my neices or nephews and i will be on the floor playing dolls or reading a dora the explorer book. i am anxiously waiting with anticipation for my own children.

that doesn't mean that i don't recognize a time and place for having my own kids. but that doesn't stop the longing to have them. to take on one of the most important roles that i will ever have, to provide for those little ones that i will be able to call mine (at least for this short duration of life) and they will call me Father. as the video says, children have a deep trust that their needs will be met, just like each of us do with our earthly father and our Heavenly Father. both have sacrificed and nurtured us to be who we are.

i do feel like it is easy to forget about the small instances that matter, pretending with a child, diving into the world that they play in, taking a few moments to show them they are special. in those instances are the bonds of trust, appreciation, and love made and sustained. there are those that do not appreciate these relationships, these gifts called children that are given to us by our Heavenly Father. they are caught up with jobs, money, hard work, vacations, promoting their spouse, etc.

so, my question to you is, how do you help people understand that being a father (or mother) is EVERYTHING? all that i am, all that i do, is for those little ones that will come into my keeping. so bring on the research paper, bring on the drudgery that comes with a job, bring on the frustrations/sadness/happiness, the roller coaster of emotions. although, in the moment it has the potential to be a living hell, if i can keep perspective, it is worth it. if i am asked to stay at home and raise the kids, i would respond in the affirmative gladly. not to say that this is an easy task, but a worthwhile task. God bless the women and men that have done this and continue to do it.

all of this, the above writing, came from watching that small clip called Earthly Father, Heavenly Father that was sent to me over facebook. please, try and tell me there wasn't a message put inside that medium. but this was my interpretation. what was yours?

You, my friend, have been 'Quelf'ed.

i have to say that it has been quite a while since i have laughed to the point of my side hurting. this state of self was acheived last monday due to a silly, but hilarious game called Quelf. if you are like me, you don't like complicated games (although once you get into the swing of things, it is fun, but you are a little apprehensive to start and it usually takes 3-4 times of playing it before it becomes truly fun). you also enjoy competitive games, but really only when you win (such as risk) because usually you end up getting angry that the other person made a move that you didn't think was practical (for them or for you) and no one will talk to each other for several days. there are also the speed games that make one anxious and sometimes give up (california speed with an old high school friend gives me the jitters). or the mindless games that, after a few minutes, lose their luster (egyptian rat screw- who came up with that name?).

now, all of the above genre of games have their place and, given, there are times when one does not want to be silly and laugh histerically (the only instance i can think of is when a puppy dies), but i propose that Quelf always has a time and a place. i have seen many crack under its influence, some with alcohol, others without; those that are naturally stiff, or naturally goofy. words such as "pincers" or looking someone directly in the eye and saying "i have you now," like darth vadar will make you smile and think of a time when nothing else mattered in the world except relaxing, laughing, and being with friends.

now, you are probably asking, "how does one get to such a state?" or more importantly, "how does one play this game?" well naturally, like all board games, there are pieces and you begin at the start and roll a dice to get to the end. there are cards that you pick up for whatever color/space you land on. there are five types of cards: stuntz, showbiz, quizzle, rulez, and scatterbrainz. with a stuntz card, you have to do some crazy, well...stunt. balancing acts, costume creations (like turning your pants inside out), daredevil moves (standing in the shape of an x for a few turns), or weird contraptions. showbiz, you mime, sing, tapdance, draw, do impressions, write poetry. quizzle, you are given mind-twisting trivia, nutty riddles, and brain teasers (none of which are things you wouldn't know in a million years, but also not as common as "who is president of the united states?"). rulez (my personal favorite) are thigs that you or the group has to do, snort like a pig when you laugh, roll the dice with your elbows, whenever you make eye contact with someone you say "i have you now!" scatterbrainz, you choose one of two topics and everyone gives answers until no one can think of a valid one ("ways to get your leg out of a spring-loaded, steel bear trap" or "brands of lipstick").

this does sound very similar to other games such as cranium, but in those games, you (yourself or a team) really want to win and it semi-matters. it can be funny, but it depends on the people you play with. Quelf is hilarious regardless.

another question you might be asking, "how is this media?" well, it is a means of helping you to do something that you wouldn't normally do like speaking in the third person for an hour, or singing made up words to an unknown country song. and it is also assists in making you laugh with friends. is there a subliminal message in this medium? i submit no. thoughts?

I waste time or make good use of time

i often need a good pick-me-up while doing school work, know what i mean? after you have spend two hours working on a paper or doing reading. thankfully i can get a good laugh almost everytime i visit I Waste So Much Time. a great website that people add goofy comics, videos or pictures. unfortunately many of them are obsessed about cats, but you can usually get over that. i am amazed at the wit some people have and the stupidity of others (hopefully purposeful).

invariably this lightens my mood, but sometimes it is difficult to not "waste so much time" looking at the posts. take a look, you might find something you like.

Mind throw-up

remember growing up, there was that kid in your class that could do that really cool thing? remember how much you thought he was the most awesome person because of it and you really wished that you could too? you may have attempted for a while, but then you realized, he just has natural talent. you then continued to admire him and move on towards something else. this is how i feel about blogging.

i struggle with the idea that i am supposed to have something intelligent to say to a world of people (let's be honest, it's just our media class that looks at these, but it proves a point). there needs to be a balance of wisdom, fun, thought provoking ideas, and quick wittiness. this needs to be something that just comes and yet is developed while writing the blog post. am i trying to impress someone? am i just doing it because it's an assignment from class? am i fulfilling a need to be heard, even if there is only one or two who actually read this? does this sort my thoughts out on a subject i never know i needed to sort? i feel that all are valid questions.

i feel, in my case, blogging is more of a mind throw-up. i do enjoy a good conversation with someone when there is a deeply thought idea and then questions and viewpoints shared by all. this is especially beneficial when all feel comfortable sharing their true ideas. but the concept of a blog is more, "here are my thoughts, hopefully they are worthy of your mind's contemplation."

i have a few blogs that i frequent. both are very close friends of mine and neither have too much direction, but both are deeply moving. as i read them, i want to change or evoke some change in someone else in order to continue the snowball effect.

but how does one get to that point? you have the time old answer of  "practice makes perfect," which i do believe in, but there are those that are natural writers. they grab your heart, get your attention, cause you to laugh, wonder, meditate on the everyday things like peanut butter or the complex things such as death.

blogs are a gift and a curse. i feel like there are many out there who could write books and change lives through actual published work, and yet...what is a blog? a published (in the sense that it is public material) and easily accessible work of writing. people can search the web and find your blog, read it, be changed by it, and you would never know. or they may leave a comment but they aren't writers themselves, so how do they express their appreciation for the effect you had on their lives?

or was their an effect? i would hope so...but at least i know that blogging does allow my mind to sort through the thoughts that run rampant through my head. but what are your thoughts? what conversation might we have in a cafe while sipping some hot drink to fight off the cold?

Just Give Me A Reason

i recently heard this song, Just Give Me a Reason, by pink and nate ruess (lead singer of fun) and instantly liked it because of the catchy beat. I have my suspicions that the nate ruess wrote the music, and possibly the lyrics, but for sure the music because it has that pull that many of fun's songs have for me. "some nights," "carry on," and even "we are young" each have that pull, but upon reading the lyrics to those songs, they are somewhat depressing. their overall messages are of not believing in love, moving on from those who have hurt you, and being young-making stupid (abusive) mistakes. each of these similar to my earlier post I "think" I want to marry you.

i was even more happy when the lyrics are about a relationship, and the common mis-haps that occur and the couple fixes them and becomes stronger for it. i would say that the roles in the song are typical, but they can be switched between the man and woman. here you have love at first site, both willing to do anything for the other. compliments and bending over backwards to help the other succeed. then, as time passes, doubts enter the minds of one or both people. as the doubts creep further and further, there is still that deep love for the one you have sacrificed for that holds you to the relationship. the love that has "been written in the scars on [their] hearts." the doubts are still lurking and cause one to burst in front of the other. the other is confused somewhat by the outbreak and trys to calm the fears of the first by explaining his side of the story. he explains that he has noticed a slight distance between them, but they both need to hold on, there just needs to be a small reason, a simple thing...love. when anger, doubt, sadness, frustration, etc. come along, "just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough," a single reason of how i love you, and we can mend our bent love to be whole again.

we each cope differently in our relationships with people. hopefully, we feed our excessive energy into a good habit such as running, writing, or manual labor. sometimes we do something with the intention in our mind as saving the other person from harm, such as not saying anything after a fight, to make sure you don't say anything you will regret. unfortunately your intentions can be read wrong by the other and seen as an attack, or a closing off. an innocent joke to lighten the mood could be seen as not taking a situation seriously. we can be blinded by our own fears and worries, enough to not look at the perspective of the one we love.

but when we do, it is just like nate sings at the culmination of the song, "no nothing is as bad as it seems," and pink sings, "we'll come clean." we will explain both of our sides, and then walk away from the situation together realizing that "we are not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again. it's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts, that we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again."

my question to each of you is this: what does it mean to you when they sing "it's been written in the scars of our hearts?" i have my own thougts, but am interested in yours.

I "think" I want to marry you...

Marriage has been an ideal concept in the worlds history. Whether it be women planning their weddings, their flowers, their dresses. Men planning on providing for their wife and children, buying a house, repairing the car. These are a few things that come along with marriage.

This is not even mentioning the "L" word....yes, Love. Unfortunetly, in our society, is becoming more and more acceptable, and even expected, for marriages to fail. In a recent lecture, we were informed that most people create the vows that they give thier spouse when married. Many of these no longer even say "in sickness and in health....till death do us part," but now say "till love do us part." This is assuming that love is its own entity and can come magically into our lives and at its own desire can leave. This false love is what is guiding our sense of marriage. It is propegated by Disney, "chick flicks," action movies, and especially by music.

How often do you hear the phrase, "I don't really like the words, but the beat gets me going!" when refering to music? I am an avid runner, and I'll admit that I say that sentence frequently. The beat of the music does affect my pace and when running a race, this can be the difference between a personal record and a "fun run."

But let's be honest, whether it is conscious, or subconscious (which could be debated at a separate time whether there we actually have a subconscious), our minds understand the message the lyrics are portraying.

I came to the conclusion this evening that I don't like the words to Bruno Mars' "Marry You" lyrics. It is all about this false love. Not only is it contriving this false love, but its disparaging marriage as some whimsickle "dumb [thing] to do."

The saddest part is when Bruno sings, "If we wake up and you / Wanna break up, that's cool / No, I won't blame you / It was fun, girl"

What happened to being married for eternity, or at least "Till death do us part?" Is that too "ideal" now? No longer a modern concept? Our society has also moved into a much more selfish idea of, "Well, what will this do for me?"

A main contributing force to this way of thinking is the media that we consume.

Texting

why is it that our lives are run by the media? i guess i shouldn't say "our"...that may be too over encompassing, but honestly, who doesn't use their phone everyday? especially in relation to emerging adults? i have a roommate that went over a month and a half without a cell phone (because he didn't have any way to charge it) and he felt so detached.

how often do you have your phone in your pocket, on vibrate, and "feel" a text/vibration and find out that if was a phantom text? how often do you check your phone, just hoping that someone has texted you, regardless of whether it is just a "hi" or a detailed 3-text-long message about how awesome your weekend was? this might be brought on by being severely bored in school, or waiting for something to happen, or, what i find most common, when i am in an awkward situation and don't want to acknowledge that i am uncomfortable and kind of want someone to talk to me, but i feel that would make it even more awkward.

i will admit, i definitely have those days. then there are those overwhelming days where the phone doesn't stop vibrating because of texts and phone calls, and this is happening while in class.

i have had several experiences where i haven't had a phone for several months, like my roommate (but for different reasons) and actually have loved it. a release from technology. take me to the woods with no cell service, a backpack, some friends, no technology, and i will be happy.

Fatherhood. By Any Means. Necessary.

There will always be several things that I think of when the word "Father" is said to me. First and foremost, my own father will come to mind and how he was constantly participating in PTA meetings, coming to piano recitals and track meets. One of my favorite memories is going on a father and sons campout, sitting around the tent, eating special candy that he always has, eating delicious pioneer stew (made by my wonderful cook of a mother) and then, all the sudden, he pulls out his laptop (I must sidenote and say that this was when decent laptops were new, as well as DVDs) and he pulled out U571, a submarine movie, and that is one of the moments when I knew that my dad was the coolest dad ever. Another fond memory that I have of him is Stadium of Fire, Beach Boys addition. Seeing him so happy and singing his guts out and just spending quality time with my pop.

The second thing I think about is my own desire to be a father. Having been around tons of neices and nephews, as well as many other kids, I look forward to having my own little daughter or son.

My thoughts about being a father have changed slightly, or maybe I should say that they have solidified after having watched this video on youtube.

Fatherhood. By Any Means. Necessary. 

Although I don't agree with the assumption in the beginning of the couple not being married, I do appreciate the bravery and courage that it takes to not only take on the responsibility of your child but to then place him or her above yourself. That, that is fatherhood.  "For the men who see their babies as blessings and not mistakes and their job is father to your daughter is the world's greatest occupation"

"This is for men who go further, who strive to be better." Inevitably, there will be times as a father where I will fail. Despite my best efforts, whether it is being linient and letting him watch a movie that probably is a little too violent, or for not giving enough time to listening to her tell me about her day. But as stated, men must strive to be better. I cannot stop trying, for my own sake, but mainly for their sake.

"Who love gently from their hugs and even harder from their hearts."

As a dad, there will be plenty of things that you would rather not do, but because your child loves it, you gladly do it to spend time with them. There are also many aspects of fatherhood that are not spoke of. For example, when he says, "For all the dads who know all the words to every Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus Song," is that what society thinks of when they hear the word father? Or do they think of a man with a pot belly, working on the car or reading a newspaper? What of the fathers that are playing dolls with their little girls, or listening to music with their sons (music that they think is wild and outrageous)? Are they good fathers? How do we change the stereotype?

"For all the fathers who raise their daughters by feeding their minds with books and knowledge of the history, not letting them be misguided by what they see on TV."

After watching this clip (and I have watched it quite a few times) I get chills. This is what fatherhood really is. Putting children above your own wants and desires. Being their for them and doing what's best for them. Too few tv shows, movies, books, and other types of media show this type of parenting from the male end of the spectrum. By no means do I mean to take away the sanctity and wonderful nurturing qualities of women and mothers. I only think that society needs to see more men stepping up and fighting for their children. No more of these bumbling idiots that are portrayed in Modern Family, Simpsons, Home Improvement, or even the Bill Cosby show. These shows are funny, but give kids and fathers a warped sense of what being a father means.

We may feel that we are inadequate to do our job as men, husbands, and fathers, but it is possible. There are things we can work on. For starters, take a glance at a talk given by an Apostle of Jesus Christ, entitled: Brethren, We Have Work to Do.

There are more good quality men than I think we realize, but each feel somewhat alone. But deep down, in their moderately solitary role, they have the follow creed:

"This is God's work. A man's work. And I don't care how you get it done. This is Fatherhood. By any means. Necessary."

Minding the Gap

most of you will be familiar with the phrase, "mind the gap." it refers to space in between the train car or subway car and the station floor. usually, as you get to your station, there is some catchy toon, then a voice that says something similar to, "now arriving to pickadilly station which intersects with the red, brown, and green lines. when stepping off the train, please mind the gap."

i feel that most people are smart enough to "mind the gap" without a reminder, but of course there are always those that are concentrating on their phone, or ipod, or book, or deep thoughts (we all have those, i think) and step incorrectly. in reality, i don't blame them. i feel that most of us have our moments where we trip (figuratively or literally) or do something stupid. this even happens despite the womenly voice urging us to "mind the gap."

two things now. first, why are there no capitals in this (or any of the following blog posts to come)?! a wise friend of mine decided that they are a nuisance, and i am in agreement. second, what is this blog for? it is a clever way that a professor of mine has allowed us students to be creative and yet educational with our critique of the media we are exposed to. so, over the next few months and beyond, you will find my thoughts on media that come my way. plain and simple...maybe.

finally, why "mind the gap?" what does media have to do with the phrase "mind the gap?" let's be honest, i was trying to be clever. people are always trying to come up with hidden meanings or deep insights, well this is my attempt.

i feel that we are exposed to all sorts of media, whether it be tv, movies, music, video games, advertising, books, etc., and are not aware of how they are affecting us (aka the gap). the average teenager is exposed to 11.5 hours of media a day! i would imagine that it increases for college students and adults. with this overly saturated life of media, its a wonder how it all shapes our decisions and personality. i feel that we are too busy running around with our busy schedules and "important" due dates, that we fall straight into the gap that has so expertly and surreptitiously been put there by "the powers that be." i am not referring to God by any means, but to those that are in charge of mass media. and the gap is growing.

so, instead of being the monotonous voice that becons those around to "mind the gap," i will be attempting to expound upon the day to day media that many are exposed to and deliberately saying something along the lines of "do you see the gaping hole after the doors, that if you fall, your leg might break, or you might step wrong and drop that delicious donut you just purchased at the last station? or spill the coffee on your new shirt that you bought for that interview today?"

but don't get me wrong, this most definitely won't be a nagging and pessimistic view of media (at least for the most part). the two posts that i already have in mind are of uplifting and fun media.