Forbidden Friendship

There are those things in life that take you by surprise. It can be a new friend, a new favorite food, recognizing a quality characteristic in a sibling, seeing that you cut yourself accidently at some point in the day, or that you really do know how to swim without receiving the proper training (don't try that at home, or in a public pool).

I think there are often times that there are things that people tell us not to do, or that it is not allowed. given, most of the time the advice given (or more often rule) is there for a reason and should be followed for your safety as well as others'. but i would say that there are times in life where you have to go against other people's better judgment or prejudice or bias as well as your own and go off on a limb. the unknown is scary and so often the unknown has rules behind it. because of Forbidden Friendship, I am more willing to push through the barrier.

my favorite dreamworks film is How to Train Your Dragon. i would think it to be a very relateable film because everyone has felt at one time or another that they were left out or picked on or bullied. i also think that everyone has had a moment in their lives where they have been told that something is bad and to stay away from it, like chocolate, or disney films, or a particular friend. there are many elements to this movie that i love.

first, i love the idea that hiccup finds an amazing friend in someone who he was taught to fear and rightly so, these creatures were stealing their animals and burning their village. but i would ask, how often is it so simple as "i feel like stealing something today" or more applicable "i feel like being mean to this person," "i am going to say something i regret," or "i will deliberately not do something for this person?" It is difficult to put ourselves outside of our own situation of justified fear, frustration, and anger to be in the head of the perpetrator. At the core, we are all tied up and trying to get out of the bind. and in the midst of angst, fear, doubt, and the pressures of conforming (discussed below), hiccup raises above it all. that's were he makes a friend, and what a formidable friendship they make. the begins with a scare or intense moment, with some circling and pondering of what to do next, with creeping forward of an idea, one that his whole mind is telling him is wrong, but his instincts tell him that it is right. this creature is more than a killer, more than a perpetrator. there is a build-up waiting to be released, almost an anxious feeling, what will he do when others find out his secret...what is his secret? does he even know? then a calming and finally the energy is let loose.

this track inspires me to want to do more and not necessarily in any particular way, but at the same time in every way. i want to burst the build up and release all the energy and accomplish the goals in mind. in doing so, i am sure there is a friend to be made, that i wouldn't otherwise make.

second theme that i love from the movie, the idea that everyone in the viking village has conformed to this idea of slaying dragons. hiccup is different, but he's not the only one that is different, but he is the one that decides to embrace his difference once he finds his nitch. but it takes him a long time to accept his oddity, that he didn't want to kill dragons. why do we wait so long to embrace our differences? instead we spend so much time and energy trying to have the talents and strengths that others have. hiccup embraces his intellectual knowledge and his feelings of not being aggressive. by accepting himself, others around him are able to be themselves and show their talents outside of the slaying dragons.

so i ask you, what talent are you hiding because you want someone else's talent? and who around you is hurting and needs you to put yourself in their shoes? could the potentially be your next best friend?

Did you see it?

did you see the sun today?did you feel the warmth on your face? that may sound like a silly question, but honestly, did you see the sunlight on the ground, or did you stare into the sun (did anyone get "6 at the sun-stare)?

we have been anxiously awaiting the sun's arrival and the appearance of spring and yet have we seen it? i walked out my door to go to school and listened to a book on my ipod and had a few moments where i was able to really appreciate my surroundings as well as my book. i noticed the people and even made a conscious decision to smile at people. i feel that a lot of times, it has to be a conscious decision to see real life.

even in class, there is the constant pressure or thought of "let me check facebook/gmail to see if there is something important there" despite you knowing that there was nothing there a twenty minutes ago. how often do we deliberately switch off the wifi so that it is not even a temptation? that way the voice doesn't have any effect on you.

when walking outside, how often do we put the phone back in the pocket to text/call someone later because you are too busy taking in the gorgeous day outside? that is my challenge for myself is to make more deliberate decisions to set aside media and appreciate real life.

Status Update

Please view the following comic strip entitled Social Media IRL.

After I stopped laughing, the truthfulness of the comic came to mind. Our culture really does feel that they need to post comments and updates on everything that they are doing. Other people then, in their spare moments of the day, check those social media sites to see what their friends are doing. Upon seeing the cool, funny, sad, dumb things that their friends are doing, they feel that they also need to post those things.

I'll admit I do like to see the cool things that my friends are doing, especially those who go on a particularly cool date, or see something crazy, or funny. I am glad that they post it so that I can experience it with them. I post a few things myself that others probably think, "Oh great, another post about running. Who cares?"

Is that not the point of social media? So you can express your thoughts, feelings, desires and connect with those who also have the same ideas? Of course not everyone is going to cherish that delicious cheeseburger that you ate, but the friends who ate their with you will remember the great time you had, or that you hadn't had a Five Guys burger in AGES!

I encourage you to think about the posts that you are putting on Facebook, Twitter, etc., and to be a little less judgemental of others who post, because your posts might be as odd to others as thiers are to you. If you are now thinking to yourself, "But I don't 'post' anything." Then my question to you is, why do you even have the social media then? If you are thinking "So I can keep up with friends," then you have missed the point of this blog.

How do you help them understand?

its not very hard for people to see that i look forward to being a father. its in the research that i do, for whatever class i am in. one of my jobs is to assist in a study that examines how parenting is done in the eastern part of the world. put me in a room with one of my neices or nephews and i will be on the floor playing dolls or reading a dora the explorer book. i am anxiously waiting with anticipation for my own children.

that doesn't mean that i don't recognize a time and place for having my own kids. but that doesn't stop the longing to have them. to take on one of the most important roles that i will ever have, to provide for those little ones that i will be able to call mine (at least for this short duration of life) and they will call me Father. as the video says, children have a deep trust that their needs will be met, just like each of us do with our earthly father and our Heavenly Father. both have sacrificed and nurtured us to be who we are.

i do feel like it is easy to forget about the small instances that matter, pretending with a child, diving into the world that they play in, taking a few moments to show them they are special. in those instances are the bonds of trust, appreciation, and love made and sustained. there are those that do not appreciate these relationships, these gifts called children that are given to us by our Heavenly Father. they are caught up with jobs, money, hard work, vacations, promoting their spouse, etc.

so, my question to you is, how do you help people understand that being a father (or mother) is EVERYTHING? all that i am, all that i do, is for those little ones that will come into my keeping. so bring on the research paper, bring on the drudgery that comes with a job, bring on the frustrations/sadness/happiness, the roller coaster of emotions. although, in the moment it has the potential to be a living hell, if i can keep perspective, it is worth it. if i am asked to stay at home and raise the kids, i would respond in the affirmative gladly. not to say that this is an easy task, but a worthwhile task. God bless the women and men that have done this and continue to do it.

all of this, the above writing, came from watching that small clip called Earthly Father, Heavenly Father that was sent to me over facebook. please, try and tell me there wasn't a message put inside that medium. but this was my interpretation. what was yours?

You, my friend, have been 'Quelf'ed.

i have to say that it has been quite a while since i have laughed to the point of my side hurting. this state of self was acheived last monday due to a silly, but hilarious game called Quelf. if you are like me, you don't like complicated games (although once you get into the swing of things, it is fun, but you are a little apprehensive to start and it usually takes 3-4 times of playing it before it becomes truly fun). you also enjoy competitive games, but really only when you win (such as risk) because usually you end up getting angry that the other person made a move that you didn't think was practical (for them or for you) and no one will talk to each other for several days. there are also the speed games that make one anxious and sometimes give up (california speed with an old high school friend gives me the jitters). or the mindless games that, after a few minutes, lose their luster (egyptian rat screw- who came up with that name?).

now, all of the above genre of games have their place and, given, there are times when one does not want to be silly and laugh histerically (the only instance i can think of is when a puppy dies), but i propose that Quelf always has a time and a place. i have seen many crack under its influence, some with alcohol, others without; those that are naturally stiff, or naturally goofy. words such as "pincers" or looking someone directly in the eye and saying "i have you now," like darth vadar will make you smile and think of a time when nothing else mattered in the world except relaxing, laughing, and being with friends.

now, you are probably asking, "how does one get to such a state?" or more importantly, "how does one play this game?" well naturally, like all board games, there are pieces and you begin at the start and roll a dice to get to the end. there are cards that you pick up for whatever color/space you land on. there are five types of cards: stuntz, showbiz, quizzle, rulez, and scatterbrainz. with a stuntz card, you have to do some crazy, well...stunt. balancing acts, costume creations (like turning your pants inside out), daredevil moves (standing in the shape of an x for a few turns), or weird contraptions. showbiz, you mime, sing, tapdance, draw, do impressions, write poetry. quizzle, you are given mind-twisting trivia, nutty riddles, and brain teasers (none of which are things you wouldn't know in a million years, but also not as common as "who is president of the united states?"). rulez (my personal favorite) are thigs that you or the group has to do, snort like a pig when you laugh, roll the dice with your elbows, whenever you make eye contact with someone you say "i have you now!" scatterbrainz, you choose one of two topics and everyone gives answers until no one can think of a valid one ("ways to get your leg out of a spring-loaded, steel bear trap" or "brands of lipstick").

this does sound very similar to other games such as cranium, but in those games, you (yourself or a team) really want to win and it semi-matters. it can be funny, but it depends on the people you play with. Quelf is hilarious regardless.

another question you might be asking, "how is this media?" well, it is a means of helping you to do something that you wouldn't normally do like speaking in the third person for an hour, or singing made up words to an unknown country song. and it is also assists in making you laugh with friends. is there a subliminal message in this medium? i submit no. thoughts?

I waste time or make good use of time

i often need a good pick-me-up while doing school work, know what i mean? after you have spend two hours working on a paper or doing reading. thankfully i can get a good laugh almost everytime i visit I Waste So Much Time. a great website that people add goofy comics, videos or pictures. unfortunately many of them are obsessed about cats, but you can usually get over that. i am amazed at the wit some people have and the stupidity of others (hopefully purposeful).

invariably this lightens my mood, but sometimes it is difficult to not "waste so much time" looking at the posts. take a look, you might find something you like.

Mind throw-up

remember growing up, there was that kid in your class that could do that really cool thing? remember how much you thought he was the most awesome person because of it and you really wished that you could too? you may have attempted for a while, but then you realized, he just has natural talent. you then continued to admire him and move on towards something else. this is how i feel about blogging.

i struggle with the idea that i am supposed to have something intelligent to say to a world of people (let's be honest, it's just our media class that looks at these, but it proves a point). there needs to be a balance of wisdom, fun, thought provoking ideas, and quick wittiness. this needs to be something that just comes and yet is developed while writing the blog post. am i trying to impress someone? am i just doing it because it's an assignment from class? am i fulfilling a need to be heard, even if there is only one or two who actually read this? does this sort my thoughts out on a subject i never know i needed to sort? i feel that all are valid questions.

i feel, in my case, blogging is more of a mind throw-up. i do enjoy a good conversation with someone when there is a deeply thought idea and then questions and viewpoints shared by all. this is especially beneficial when all feel comfortable sharing their true ideas. but the concept of a blog is more, "here are my thoughts, hopefully they are worthy of your mind's contemplation."

i have a few blogs that i frequent. both are very close friends of mine and neither have too much direction, but both are deeply moving. as i read them, i want to change or evoke some change in someone else in order to continue the snowball effect.

but how does one get to that point? you have the time old answer of  "practice makes perfect," which i do believe in, but there are those that are natural writers. they grab your heart, get your attention, cause you to laugh, wonder, meditate on the everyday things like peanut butter or the complex things such as death.

blogs are a gift and a curse. i feel like there are many out there who could write books and change lives through actual published work, and yet...what is a blog? a published (in the sense that it is public material) and easily accessible work of writing. people can search the web and find your blog, read it, be changed by it, and you would never know. or they may leave a comment but they aren't writers themselves, so how do they express their appreciation for the effect you had on their lives?

or was their an effect? i would hope so...but at least i know that blogging does allow my mind to sort through the thoughts that run rampant through my head. but what are your thoughts? what conversation might we have in a cafe while sipping some hot drink to fight off the cold?